Tag: dating

January 21, 2015

dating coupleIn a Healthy Relationship, You have the Right to:

  • Be treated with respect and as an equal
  • Express your opinions and feelings
  • Not be hurt physically or emotionally
  • Have friends and activities outside of the relationship
  • To refuse sex or any degree of intimacy at any time
  • To end a relationship

 

Tips for Starting a Healthy Relationship:

  • Get to know the person better before starting to date
  • Try some group activities before going out alone with the other person
  • Explore each other’s interests
  • Build a foundation of respect and appreciation
  • Be clear with him/her about what you feel comfortable doing
  • Encourage the other person to be honest with you
  • Let him/her know what time your parents expect you to be home
  • Stay safe, let your friends/parents know where you are going and who you are going with

 

The Importance of Open Communication:

Open communication is the key to a healthy relationship. To get to know each other better, you and your partner should feel comfortable expressing your true feelings. It is important for the two of you to have a mutual understanding about what you will and will not do. This way, you can do things together that you both enjoy. In addition, healthy couples respect each other’s right to say “no”. You and your date should value each other’s opinions and listen to each other non-judgmentally. An open communication allows you to feel good about being yourself and enables you to develop a close and long-lasting relationship.

 

Tips for Communicating with Your Partner:

  • Be a good listener. Keep an open mind and be non-judgmental.
  • Use non-verbal signals to show that you care: facial expressions, posture, eye contact, tone, volume, rhythm, etc.
  • Avoid making assumptions—ask when you’re unsure
  • Don’t jump to conclusions. Wait unitl you have all the information.
  • Be specific and honest to avoid misunderstandings
  • Use “I” statements to express your feelings without criticizing the other person
  • Watch for your partner’s body language
  • Don’t force yourself or your partner

 

Spending Time Apart As Well As Together:

When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to want to spend a lot of time with your partner. But do try to spend a little time apart. A healthy relationshp is one that gives people “me” time as well as “us” time. If you find yourself giving up friends and personal interests to be with your partner, you may want to take a step back and create some personal space. Similarly, your partner may need some space too. Giving your partner personal space is a form of respect, and it shows that you want what is best for him/her. In the long run, this helps to strengthen your relationship. Other advantages of spending time apart include but are not limited to:

  • Allowing you to maintain friendships
  • Letting you pursue personal interests that your partner may not share
  • Providing you with new perspectives
  • Giving you something new to talk about
  • Making the two of you appreciate each other more when you do spend time together

 

Additional Advice on Spending Time Apart:

  • Remember “quality over quantity” for the amount of time you two spend together.
  • Be supportive when your partner wants to spend time with his/her own friends.
  • Don’t follow or check on your partner when he/she hangs out with friends.
  • It’s natural for anyone to have friends of the opposite sex. Don’t be over-sensitive; trust your partner.
  • Understand that just because your partner is not with you doesn’t mean he/she does not love you.
  • Resist from calling your partner too much.
  • Take time for yourself: hang out with friends, visit family, take a class, participate in an extracurricular activity.

 

Doing Little Things to Show You Care:

  • Know your partner’s likes and dislikes
  • Remember what your partner has said
  • Give small gifts
  • Give words of encouragement when he/she has an important test, presentation, or job interview.
  • Compliment something specific about him/her
  • Keep a picture of him/her in your wallet
  • Send him/her postcards when you’re on vacation
  • Bake him/her cookies
  • Leave the last piece of cake for him/her
  • Hold the door for him/her
  • Do some of his/her chores, without being asked
  • Let him/her pick the movie, TV show, or radio station
  • Make them your #1 on Myspace
  • (Be creative and think of what else you can do.)

 

*Attention: Don’t overdo these “little things.” Make sure you are not suffocating your partner. Leave some personal space for him/her!

1 November 12, 2014

 

For more information, please click here.

 

Teen Dating Violence Prevention PSA (English)

 

Teen Dating Violence Prevention PSA (Cantonese)

 

Teen Dating Violence Prevention PSA (Mandarin)

 

Teen Dating Violence Prevention PSA (Vietnamese)

 

Teen Dating Violence Prevention PSA (Tagalog)

 

Teen Dating Violence Prevention PSA (Korean)

Posted in multi-media by JBWpAdmin | Tags: , , ,
1 October 22, 2014

dating violence

Is someone you know a victim of dating violence? Are you in an abusive relationship?  What can you do to help yourself or your friends? What are your rights in a relationship? Let’s find out.

 

What is Dating Violence?

Dating violence is a set of abusive behavior that a person shows towards another in a relationship. Violence does not have to be physical; it can be in the form of verbal, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse. Dating violence can happen to people of any race, culture, age, and religious background. It occurs in homosexual as well as heterosexual relationships.

 

Quick statistics:

Dating violence may be more prevalent than you think:

  • 1 in 3 teenagers reported knowing a friend who has been hit by their partner. (2005)
  • 62% teenagers said they know friends who have been verbally abused by a boyfriend/girlfriend. (2008)
  • 26% girls in a relationship reported experiencing repeated verbal abuse. (2008)
  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm when the girl suggested break-up. (2005)

 

What are the Different Forms of Abuse?

  • Physical abuse: Hitting, kicking, choking, pulling hair, throwing things, driving extremely fast, imprisoning, or using weapons to threaten or hurt a partner.
  • Emotional abuse: Insulting, blaming, being extremely jealous or controlling, monitoring a partner’s activities, preventing the partner from going to school or work, isolating the partner from friends or family, making up stories, or spreading harmful rumors.
  • Verbal abuse: Yelling, name-calling, putting-down, or threatening a partner. The abuser may threaten to hurt oneself, the partner, friends, or family members.
  • Sexual abuse: Forcing a partner to have sexual relationship or behavior, attacking private body parts, or spreading sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) on purpose.
  • Financial abuse: Taking money, preventing a partner from going to work, purposely damaging a partner’s credit history, or threatening to interfere with immigration or employment status.

 

Warning Signs of Abusive Behavior:

  • Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
  • Frequent mood swings
  • Attempts to isolate you from friends or family
  • Blaming you for his/her problems
  • Believing in rigid gender roles
  • Using force or threats during an argument
  • Showing any form of physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse, as described previously

 

Helping a Friend who might be in an Abusive Relationship:

Signs of a victim:

  • Changes in mood or personality
  • Persistent sadness
  • Unwilling to express oneself
  • Withdrawal from social activities
  • Insisting on more privacy
  • Falling grades
  • Unexplained wounds or injuries
  • Making excuses for the abuser

 

Things you can do:

  • Help your friend recognize the abuse
  • Let your friend know that the abuse is not his/her fault
  • Show your concern and support
  • Listen to what your friend has to say, and keep what he/she says confidential
  • Be sensitive and understanding; realize that there are many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships
  • Respect your friend’s decisions, including those you may not agree with
  • Encourage your friend to participate in activities outside of the relationship
  • Inform your friend that he/she can get help from many free and confidential services
  • Encourage him/her to talk to someone who can provide guidance

 

Where to Get Help:

No one deserves to be abused. If you are being hurt in your relationship, or are afraid that you might be at risk, you can receive free and confidential advice from:

California Youth Crisis Line: 1-800-843-5200 http://www.youthcrisisline.org/

 

Teen Dating Violence PSA

October 22, 2014

Understanding the Difference between Dating and Sex:

kissing coupleDating is a time when two people get to know each other better. Too often teens think it is a hall pass to the other person’s body. Your date may say things like, “If you don’t want to have sex, why are we dating? or “If you truly love me, you shouldn’t say no.”  Remember, in any relationship, you have the right to voice your opinion. It is important for you to assert yourself and not give in to things you do not want to do. Be prepared to give answers like, “We’re dating because I love you and I want to spend time with you. If you want to have sex, then you are dating the wrong person.”

Saying “No”:

In a healthy relationship, couples respect each other’s right to say no. And the best way to say no to sex or affection is by saying “No.” Anything else could be taken the wrong way or could give the other person “reasons” to persuade you. Don’t be afraid to express your opinions and feelings. Any strong, loving relationship is built on the basis of mutual respect. If you feel forced to fulfill your date’s request, maybe that individual is not the right person for you.

Communicating with Your Partner about Safer Sex:

  • Be well-informed about sexual health issues
  • Talk to your partner about safer sex before you two become sexually intimate.
  • Choose a convenient time and a comfortable environment to talk.
  • Discuss one issue at a time.
  • Use “I” statements, such as I would feel more comfortable if we use a condom.
  • Ask open-ended questions. For example, What do you think if we use condoms as well as birth control pills? Or, What do you think if we wait until we graduate to have sex?
  • Avoid making assumptions; ask if you are unsure. For example, I think you said that you want us to use condoms as well birth control pills, is that right? Or, I think you want us to wait until we graduate to have sex, is that right?
  • Be patient to get your points across.
  • Give your partner time to response. Don’t interrupt and don’t jump to conclusion.
  • Let your partner know that you care about his/her feeling.
  • Stay firm with your commitment to sexual safety. Your partner may say things like, If you love me, you would trust me and not use a condom. Don’t give in to such kind of persuasion.
  • Understand that it is okay if things do not get resolved right away. Having some time to think first can be beneficial to both of you.

Resources:

Sex Ed Library:

http://www.sexedlibrary.org

Posted in Dating and Relationships, Health Topics by JBWpAdmin | Tags: , ,